No More Oreos? Tell Me it isn’t True!

Some other good citizen comes up to the help of the uninformed public. After months of feeding Oreo cookies, and relishing them hugely, person place on a British pound sterling or two. Who’s to fault? You cognize person is to fault. It could not be the fault of the exploiter. Maked she exercise? Maked she walk? Maked she do her housekeeping? No, she Sat in front end of her T.V. and Ate Oreo cookies.

When she accomplished she held acquired a small poly about the middle, she made not like it. She kvetched to an lawyer friend. The lawyer friend heard to her hollerring about being
and made his best to insure her she was still beautiful. To get her feel better, he acquired them both eyeglasses of Milk River and occupied a brisk base of Oreo cookies from her storage locker.

Fashioning themselves comfy at the kitchen table, they kept to souse the cookies and reason whether she was fat or not. For hour. Eventually, to close her up, he articulated he would encounter the grounds. He dead cognised it wasnt
fault and he stated her so.

And what made he find patch meter reading the component list on the face of the base? It’s the fault of Oreo cookies! There is plumped in the white filling! Shazam! Who wouldve thunk it? I wonder that college he locomoted to? He was astonishing! Nowadays, some other American picture is about to be wiped out.

Pappas will not be capable to demo their boys how to squirm off the top cooky cautiously so they can drub the filling off. Small brothers will no tenacious be capable to souse their Oreo cookie into their big brothers glass of Milk, and savour a spot of brotherly chumminess earlier being forced away just about. What will mothers lay in the luncheon boxes? Will we be capable to transport one more straw of supplied stress in our daily lives?

In the months to come up, mortal will retrieve Oreo cookies fondly, and the tikes will tell, What the heck is an Oreo cookie?

Or implore, Say us about the older hours, Dad, when you use to feed Oreo cookies. Male parent will sigh unhappily, and brush a teardrop away.

Citizenry are moving to get down billboard them, simply wait and understand. The neighbour crossways the street but set a padlock on his freeze in his garage. I only cognize he has Oreo cookie in there.

On Allhallows Eve, Oreo cookie came up extinct with orangeness filling. (I wonder if it was to get free of the white filling that had got the fat in it? Hey, it works for me.) They too have duplicated chocolate. A biscuit with chocolate filling. Oh, they in all probability have a stack of fresh thoughts in their secret files. Today, what will they do if they are shut down?

Citizenry will mislay their jobs. Nabisco will go bankrupt. Its an existent ignominy, but will the good citizen, with the all over avid lawyer, care? No. She cognizes her obligation. Her concern is all over the residual of us acquiring fat. She is seeming extinct for us that are excessively nescient to cognize there is plumped in the filling. Anyone extinct there who didnt already cognize this? Anyone?

I like fat. It maintains my breadth shining and my skin delicate. Making without a spot of fat turns you into a desiccated up prune with straw for hairsbreadth. Id instead be round, myself.

Oreo cookies are the cookies of differentiation. You do not merely purchase chocolate cookies. You must purchase Oreo cookies. When you take the nestlings in for milk and cookies, their auricles find out milk and Oreo cookies! Can any former biscuit place that ring of chocolate about a child’s mouth so sweet? I dont believe so.

If this can be through with to the Rex of cookies, what’s next? Ice Cream? Reese’s miniskirts? The Gold Archways? It’s time for people to disgust. Stand up for your right to feed Oreo cookies! In the interim, run and grab all you can earlier theyre done for!

Update! May 17, 2003

The suit of clothes has been dropped down. Wow! Citizenry can stand up up and be loathsome - it works! Kids can maintain savouring their Oreo cookies, and momma and papa will not have to stop dead them or hide them from the neighbours.

I wonder what else is on the Endangered Nutrient List?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 8th, 2008 at 3:47 am and is filed under Humor.